I’m a big fan of intermittent fasting. I’ve tried almost every diet out there, not because I needed to or even believed in them working, I just wanted to so I can experience first hand what it feels like to be on one and what results to expect. Intermittent fasting is the most sustainable eating plan that I’ve come across. The limited eating window forces you to eat all of your calories in a much smaller space of time than you normally would, automatically making you feel fuller and limiting the total number of calories you can ingest regardless of what you would like to eat. But in order to make it even more sustainable, I’m a fan of If It Fits Your Macros. This is where you set yourself a daily macronutrient balance and as long as you hit it, anything goes. In order to sustain muscle mass while burning fat, I’ve set my intermittent fasting macros at 50% protein, 30% fat, and 20% carbohydrates. In order to track this, I’ve been using the MyFitnessPal application which tracks your macros for you. Every bit of food and drink that passes my lips gets entered onto that app.
And there’s the problem. My wife does not believe in what I’m doing and I feel like I get very little support.
A bit of background first. For about 4 years, my wife had suffered with anorexia nervosa. It got so bad, she was admitted as an inpatient to an eating disorder clinic early last year and there she stayed for 5 months. Her outlook on food and dieting has been skewed by a toxic mental parasite, and to a degree, outdated and simply ineffective advice from NHS dieticians. She firmly believes that cereals for breakfast, 3 meals a day, and small portions are the best way to eat, yet constantly complains that my huge dinner plate full of food “looks like nothing”. So when I say I’m dieting she resists completely. She complains about the food choices I make, she complains about the inconvenience of me measuring macros, and despite me saying I’m dieting, she keeps buying me snacks and goodies that I said I wouldn’t eat. She doesn’t get it.
She’s never been a fitness person, never showed the slightest bit of interest in the gym or nutrition or exercise. She did the occasional run on a treadmill, but it was never consistent or planned. Whereas I was working in a military gym when I met her, it was a big part of my life. It’s the one lack of commonality that I really dislike. We share very few passions, and this is one that I wished above everything that we could share together.
Over the years we’ve been married, I’ve allowed myself to get sucked and drawn into the lethargic world of excuses and failed goals, and this time, before I turn 40, I want to make a determined effort to be fit at 40, not fat at 40. I just wish my wife was on my side. She will say she supports me, she will claim that I’m the problem. One minute I’m saying don’t buy me snacks, then the next I’m complaining there are no treats in the house, she can’t win. But a supportive person wouldn’t hold that against me, they would empathise and understand that dieting is hard, dieting is contradictory, and dieting can be an inconvenience. She would understand, and rather than finding a solution to me craving nasties by buying them, or complaining at me for craving them, she would motivate me by being empathetic.
So this time I’m ignoring her. I’m blanking out her misgivings, complaints, and negativity, and just doing it anyway. I’ll eat what I want to eat to achieve my goals, and I’ll take the blame for it not working, or the credit for it making me smash my way to success.
So to all of you whose partner is less than supportive of your dieting and fitness goals, I AM WITH YOU.